E- Mail - Think Before You Send

E-mail is an amazingly helpful tool but it is also a largely impersonal one. Working in isolation on your notebook without face-to-face contact can lead to a wide range of miscommunications.

In fact, how we communicate often depends on whether we physically interact or do our 'talking' through e-mail. People often 'say' things through e-mail that they would never say to someone's face.

This is particularly obvious to anyone who has ever been 'flamed' (that is, having received an angry,embarrassing, or offensive e-mail).

Without any facial expressions, voice intonations or any other cues, it is easy to misread an e-mail. Was it intended as straightforward, ironic or humorous? Even a sentence such as 'you did great work today' can take on a thousand different meanings depending on who wrote it, and how you feel at the time.

For the writer, who may rarely if ever see the intended recipient, there is no social blocker in place to mediate their behaviour. Whether angry, upset or simply uncaring, there is nothing in place to stop them from fully expressing themselves.

Even if they had no overt intention to cause offence, what they may assume is innocent, even funny, can come across as rude, patronising and insulting.

There are however a few quick tips that can keep you cool under pressure, whether you feel the need to flame someone or whether you've just been flamed yourself.

Before you send

1. Always think twice

Okay, you're angry or upset. Write your e-mail. Save it. Read it. Go have a coffee. Read it again. Then ask yourself the big question – is it really worth sending? Chances are it isn't.

2. Keep it clean

Remember that everyone will interpret things differently. Jokes, pictures and lewd comments can truly offend.

3. Empathise with the reader

Think of the things you don't like to receive in an e-mail. For example, are people always shouting IMPORTANT things in upper case, using hundreds of abbreviations and emoticons, sending large attachments? If you don't like receiving certain things, why send them to others?

4. Check the 'send to' list before you send

Believe it or not, everyone doesn't want to read your e-mail and you just might be sending your scathing thoughts about someone to everyone.

5. Be polite

Whether at your desk or texting a message from your phone, saying 'hello' and 'thanks' can make a huge difference.

6. Resist temptation

Yes, something was said. Yes, maybe you were criticised. Perhaps you were CC'd on an exchange between a colleague and your boss. How you respond next will say everything about you. Remember, once something is said, it can never be taken back.

7. See Point 1. :-)

Hope this adds value...

Cheers!!
Suresh

Ten Tips to Improve Human Relationships

The following article describes ten salient points that could harness and improve human relationships

1. Putting Yourself into others shoe

Most of the time we get agitated and annoyed when people react in an unprofessional /abrupt manner. At this juncture, if we could pause for a while and put ourselves in their shoes, we would be able to understand the other person’s criticality and invariably be prepared to forgive him and take forward.

2. Reducing Expectancy

We always get disappointed when people deliver much less than what we expected. It is these unrealistic expectations that could create a fissure in our relationships. So reduce the level of expectancy when it comes with people and this would ease the strain of the relationship.

3. Speak Positive about others

We often overlook this statement. The key to astounding relationships is to speak out the best about people with whom you work/related with.
More precisely it pays huge dividends when you appreciate people in public. This has a magical effect to improve Human Relationships.

4. Contribution during Problems

It would make sense to take a minute to introspect on how we were responsible for the problem. Taking personal ownership during problems, can take us a long way to ensure that people find comfortable to work/interact with us.

5. Smile
Smile Costs nothing but creates much. A warm and gentle smile when meeting people can make them their day. Even when we have nothing to say to someone, a simple smile can reinforce healthy ties and warm relationship.

6. Going Extra Mile

If we could move out from our current scope of work to help someone who is in need, it could create a binding force of cherishable relationship. The receiver has an automatic sense of gratitude and respect to such rare people of altruist class.

7. Empathizing and Compassion:

The world today is in need of people who would share compassion with the fraternity and empathize strongly during turbulent times. These qualities can make an individual who is in distress to come back to normalcy after the vent out.

8. Think twice before you speak:

Words spoken out from one’s mouth cannot be taken back. So it becomes increasingly important to think twice before speaking out. The Relationship could be at stake if the choice of words is handled inappropriately. This clause holds good mostly when one loses balance due to some other’s vehement reaction.

9. People are the Best Assets:

People are the best assets and each and everyone should try their level best to keep this in their mind to ensure that they take adequate, measures to sustain a relationship. Believe me it is easy to lose a relationship rather than fostering one. The power of relationship is often understood only during their absence. So do not miss and pay a heavy penalty.

10. Do not involve in Back Biting and Fault Finding

There is a popular saying that “If you want to make a friend your enemy, just tell him ‘He is wrong’ “No one would be generous enough to admit faults when his/her ego gets hurt. Also the habit of back biting can have a lethal effect in a sustaining relationship.


The above mentioned 10 tips when practiced with due diligence and commitment can win some wonderful and astounding relationships in work and personal life.

Happy Relationships ahead!!!

FYI : The Post is also available at the Selfgrowth Website:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/SureshGP1.html


Cheers!!
Suresh Gp

Pen Is Mightier than the Sword

I wanted to take sometime to reflect upon the above statement and its increasing relevance to today’s busy world

Life today , specially that of the software folks ( pardon me for using the word and I am one among them) have a fictious belief that e-mail is all that it takes to convey the real expression/real feelings/emotions…

I beg to be different… The Power of writing a simple personalized letter could make a world of difference to the person at the receiving end… There are many villages in India where an email cannot penetrate irrespective of the Technological Advancement… Conversely even the remotest of the village has a postman who could deliver the letter and could also decipher the content to the intended recipient in his native tongue and make it a memorable day.. Have you had such experiences??? I was lucky to have them for more than half a decade.. They were pleasant souvenirs.

When I stepped in to my first year of Engg, I had to forcefully accommodate myself at the outskirts of Chennai and that was a nostalgic feeling considering the fact I was with my parents together for 18 Long Years.

We neither had a Telephone nor were we comfortable to the advanced world of computing… I believe it was a blessing in disguise.

My father used to write a letter every week and I used to long for each Monday to receive the loving letter. I used to update my day-to-day events/thoughts and post a letter back every Friday evening. Both of us realized the increasing need to communicate and we made sure to exhaust the entire space to record the inspiring thoughts/heartfelt emotions and action plans ahead.

It was like talking to each other face to face with an open heart and those were years that turned our relationship from the typical Father –Son relationship to one of the dream Friendship….. My friends used to ridicule that I and my father was creating job for the Postman…. but we only knew the value of those writings. I still hold on all my Letters that my father has written me and whenever, I feel low, I take some time to open his letters and it creates a different space of liveliness, cheerfulness and Inspiring fulfillness.

Even today, the best gift I cherish to my near and dear ones are my personalized Letters /Cards that will make them smile big whenever they open it up… and everyone to whom I have given always told me that they have kept it with themselves….
I would continue this legacy with my son and make the fraternity realize how this pen can make you win hearts/create a lasting and rewarding relationship…

I personally thank you for having spent some time to go through my article…… Anticipate all your thoughts/inputs and suggestions……

Warm Regards
Suresh Gp